How Social Do I Have To Be For Social Wellness?

TIMING: ONE SOCIAL ASPECT OF HOLISTIC SELF-CARE

Are you a party animal, always looking to hang out with a large group of friends? Or are you a homebody who would rather curl up with a good book than go to a big event? Either is okay. And either is normal. And you get to make those decisions about how you feel. And how much and when social interaction is good for your soul.

WE ALL NEED SOCIAL INTERACTION

Humans have been social animals since they appeared on the earth. We relied on each other for safety, food, shelter – for EVERYTHING! It is literally programmed into our DNA. But we have changed as we’ve evolved and we are not AS dependent on others for our basic needs. Well, once we become adults anyway, However, the majority of us still have a yearning and necessity for human interaction and companionship. The degrees just vary from person to person.

These degrees determine whether one is an extrovert, one who is outgoing and energized by social interactions, or an introvert, one who is shy and withdrawn and drained by many social interactions. I don’t think it’s necessary or potentially healthy to label people as either, particularly since the vast majority of people fall somewhere in between.

And I’ll say here that extreme extroversion or extreme introversion can be considered a description of a mental health symptom. But this determination must be made by a qualified professional, which I am not. Therefore, in this post, I will be addressing the normal feelings of the average person.

SO WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?

So this is one of those areas of self-care that most people don’t think about. I mean, do we even need to worry about social self-care and wellnes??? After all, most of us have at least some interaction with others on a regular basis. But for some of us, that interaction could be a problem! Only we can determine how much social interaction is enough or too much for us.

For some introverts, too much interaction is physically, mentally, and emotionally depleting. It can feel like running a marathon just by running a few errands. Of course, most people are not that extreme. However, a full day of errands with crowded stores and lots of traffic can certainly do it for most of us.

But even for a moderate introvert, busy times like the holidays can be extremely draining. These individuals need to be aware of their healthy interaction limits and set (and stick to) some boundaries. However, that degree of introvertedness can change over time.

On the opposite side, extroverts need to have enough interaction to charge their batteries and energize them. They thrive during busy social periods like the holidays. And it is up to them to determine when their energy is running low and they need some interaction whether it’s coffee with a friend or hosting a dinner party. But, again, these levels of extrovertedness can change over time.

YOU CAN CHANGE

I know several people - friends, family, and acquaintances - who have experienced a trauma or life-changing event in their lives that has changed their “people-tolerance” one way or the other. Either they become more introverted, at times VERY introverted which may later change back to varying degrees. Or they can become more extroverted, sometimes to the extent of not being able to be alone which, again, may later change back to some degree.

So this is a fluid state. It can change from year to year or moment to moment. That’s why labeling someone (or ourselves) is often NOT a good thing. We feel like we have to behave a particular way based on our “label.” And that’s not fair to us. We are not just one thing or feel one way always.

Even the extrovert can enjoy quiet evenings at home. And the introvert can enjoy a shopping spree with friends. It depends on the timing. And the people.

WHO IS AS IMPORTANT AS WHEN

Sometimes we are good with a large group of friends and acquaintances around whereas other times we only want our closest friends around which is perfectly fine and normal. Oftentimes when we go into a more introverted period, we simply become more particular about who is allowed into our inner sanctum. Which can be a VERY HEALTHY action.

I won’t go into aspects of social self-care revolving around determining friendships and comparison making here, either from social media or not, but it is real and is also something to be considered. I will, however, address it later on in another post.

For now I will simply say that not everyone should be allowed into your inner friendships and YOU get to determine who is allowed in.

ULTIMATELY IT’S UP TO YOU

But the main point of this post is to remind you to pay attention to how you feel at any given moment about the level of social interaction and commitment you feel comfortable with. And set boundaries about those interactions. Do not let yourself be “bullied” into a social environment you really do not want to be involved in – not by your friends, your boss, or your spouse!

YOU get to determine when and what level of social interaction is healthy for YOUR physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing in every moment. This truly IS an important part of holistic self-care!